Hate Me Love Me
by InLust
Summary: TVVerse Blair and Chuck are going out and Serena doesnt like it and blurts out some of the wrong words. Set instead of Blair ending up sleeping with both Chuck and Nate Serena/Blair Waldsen femslash Dont like dont read
1. Chapter 1

Title: Hate Me Love Me

Pairing: Blair/Serena

Rating: T just because of some swears

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Summary: Blair and Chuck are going out and Serena doesnt like it and blurts out some of the wrong words. Set instead of Blair ending up sleeping with both Chuck and Nate because I have to admit, I really really hated her right then. So this is a different take of what if?

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Blair dropped the phone with Chuck and sat at her desk ready to start working on her homework again. She smiled to herself what she talked about with Chuck was so unusual simply because what was there to talk about? Nothing really but Chuck always found something amusing to say. She would always laugh.

Honest to herself, she had to admit Chuck would have never been on her list of "To-date." He was too much of a player. But he acted when she acted. They had only started having sex because Blair was upset and Chuck had just been there. She wanted someone else but knew it wouldnt be possible. And now in hoping to spite the person, she started dating Chuck after all, they did have sex more than once and they knew each other pretty well.

"Blair," Serena called for bursting into her room. She had never been the type to knock on a door shes been through before.

"Serena," Blair responded drably as she looked at her computer screen. She couldnt bear to look at her best friend, knowing that in looking at Serena she would feel a sense of guilt. Serena's eyes had spoken clearly of how the blonde felt about Blair's relationship, betrayal, sadness, jealousy even.

"What are you doing with Chuck?" the blonde practically yelled.

Blair laughed and answered sarcastically. "Wow, Serena didnt know you wanted to know ALL of the details." She felt satisfaction as she evaded her best friend's questions.

Serena didnt know how to take Blair's crisp attitude. She paced for a second, frustrated, before dropping down onto Blair's bed and turning the brunette's chair around. The shorter girl almost falling out of her seat to the sudden force.

"Serena?! Shit, what the hell is wrong?" Blair finally said.

"What are you doing with Chuck?" she asked sharply. "And dont answer me like an ass. You know what I'm asking."

"I'm with him now. Obviously."

"You dont like him Blair. Hell you dont even have much in common with that spawn of satan."

"Serena, we connect. We find things to talk about. We go out to movies, dinner, we have sex." She didnt know why those last words had come out of her mouth. A flash of sadness crossed Serena's face. Blair knew deep down she wanted to throw it in her best friend's face. She wanted her to know what she could have had.

Serena remained calm and composed. "Blair, I think that with Chuck, you are making a big mistake."

"Just like youre 'mistake' in sleeping with Nate?" Blair couldnt hold back anymore.

"That was low." Blair returned a smug look like she didnt care.

"Blair.." she sighed. "Do you hate me?" Suddenly Blair gave a slightly troubled look. The question was low and blunt. She didnt know how to answer. Serena continued. "That's why you want to throw it in my face? You and Chuck. Both of you guys together, going on dates, having sex. Is that it? Because you hate me for sleeping with Nate?"

NO, that is not true. You idiot! Its because Im trying to make you jealous. Cant you see?! Blair's mind screamed. But she stayed silent. Her eyes patronized Serena, she refused to let Serena's pitiful look force her into saying anything.

"You do," Serena saw in her eyes. She held back the tears in her eyes. "You hate me Blair. After all we've been through together." Blonde locks fell from behind her ear along the sides of her face, making it look long and weary.

The brunette avoided as much eye contact as she could. Staring at her best friend but not looking her in the eye. She was speechless. What could she honestly say? Spill out the real reason why shes with Chuck? Confess all of her emotions? All of those things right in that moment? Blair never pictured it that way. She couldnt bring herself to do it because she didnt know how Serena would feel.

"Serena," Blair began but her words after faltered.

Serena interrrupted right where she left off, "I came back to you. You were the only reason I came back. If you werent here I woulnt have. How could you have not seen that? I wanted you and only you. I slept with Nate because it was the closest thing I could get to having you! Blair, I love you!" The blonde abruptly stopped speaking. She had crossed a line, which one she wasnt sure of. Blair could only stare at her in shock and before she could open her mouth Serena got up and quickly left.

The sound of the door softly shutting behind her, left Blair motionless. She sat in her chair, staring at the empty space where Serena had been sitting moments ago. Her last words burning into Blair's mind. I love you. I love you. Blair, I love you.

She said it, she actually said it. Blair thought to herself still replaying the tape in her mind. She said it! And I let her go. What the fuck, why couldnt I say it? She didnt give me enough time. I would have said it. Serena, I love you too.

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Ooh Yay if you made it down here Im happy! Review it please!


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Hate Me Love Me

Pairing: Blair/Serena

Rating: T just because of some swears

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Summary: Serena runs home and both of the girls are left to deal with the day after.

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Serena fell into her bed. Her eyes burning from the tears streaming down her face. She couldnt remember the last time she was this angry with herself. All she wanted to do was bury herself under a rock somewhere now. She knew that if this got out it would be a scandal not just for her, she could take it but she didnt know how Blair would take it. Right now she really wanted a drink.

She stopped herself from thinking that. She had stopped drinking. She knew she didnt need alcohol in her system than she used to have. The only feeling she had was to fix what she had done tonight. Tonight she told Blair the truth. For more than a year she wanted to tell her best friend how she felt but she could never get it right. Now was not an appropriate time but it had come out. She couldnt take it back just like she couldnt take back sleeping with Nate or running away. She had finally told Blair Waldorf that she loved her. And she felt, Blair would never love her back.

The blonde woke up late, groggy, and puffy eyed from having been crying all night. Lily had woken her up and tried to get her out of bed as quickly as possible. Serena refused to get up and claimed she wasnt feeling too well at all. Convincing her mother to let her stay home was hard and it couldnt be done. She knew she had to face her demons somehow.

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Blair hadnt slept a wink. She replayed what happened with Serena like a broken record. She couldnt even fathom an idea of what to say to Serena now. She wanted to tell her it was alright and that she loved her too but it was just too much and all too sudden. She never pictured it this way, and she wanted it to be just right.

The only thing Blair felt that would be best is if she could have some time away from Serena to find her own words. She wanted to find the perfection in her words to express how she felt for Serena. Until she could find her lost words it meant avoiding Serena at all costs.

Classes had begun to start and Blair knew that Serena would have several of them with her. In all the classes Blair forced herself to be the last one in and the first one out. Serena stared at her in confusion as she saw her best friend jet in and out of classes. Not even glancing at her before after or during class. Everytime she'd try to stop Blair but the brunette would slip right through her fingers and disappear into the crowd.

She wasnt taking it well, Serena thought to herself. She felt her heart break a little when she saw the other girl go off. This went on for the whole day. Luckily for both of them no one really noticed how they were acting.

"Hey," Dan greeted her with a kiss on her cheek when he caught up with her as they left.

"Hey," Serena responded weakly.

"Something wrong?" he inquired.

"Nothing, at all," she gave him a half hearted smile. "I'm alright."

Dan raised an eye brow. "Come on I know something is up." His girlfriend didnt say anything to him. "Does it have to do with Blair?" As much as he didnt like the shorter woman he knew how close Serena and her were. Serena went silent. "It does. Wanna talk about it?"

Serena couldnt tell him anything. He would just ask her more and more questions. The truth was, she liked Dan, honestly. But if she told him everything, how would he react? Just like Blair, she thought he wouldnt take it too well at all. "Its okay. I'll be fine," she finally answered.

He took in a deep breath, knowing that she wasnt going to say anymore. He had respected her and knew that whatever Blair had done she could fix it, or vice versa. "Okay, then. If it has anything to do with you and Blair avoiding each other all day. If you need some help or something you know you can tell me," he promised. Serena nodded and kissed him.

Blair sighed. Just as she was walking out she had seen Serena and Dan kissing. She told me she loved me, but how can she mean it when she is with him? She wanted to know. As far as she knew, Serena was stupidly in love with Dan. Blair held her head up high, she allowed Serena to be with Dan even though she disapproved, so what was so wrong about going out with Chuck?

The brunette pondered in her own dilemma as she found another exit out. Crossing paths with Serena was one thing but Serena and Dan that was an issue neither one of them would be prepared to take on.

"Hey Blair," Chuck appeared as she turned away. She gasped.

"Whatre you doing here Chuck?" Blair asked harshly trying to keep her voice down. Chuck feigned being hurt and smirked.

"If it werent for these people, I'd be doing you," he whispered. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck jump up to his implication before slapping him away to shut up. "Oh come on. Im kidding." Blair didnt say anything to him and walked off. "Blair, where are you going?"

I can't deal with Chuck right now, she kicked herself mentally. She couldnt, Serena was already a plateful, adding Chuck just made it even more sloppy. She didnt like it. One thing at a time, she told herself. She stopped walking and turned to Chuck, who was following her impatiently.

"Chuck, you and I have to take a break," she quickly said. "Theres been alot going on in my head and I cant do anything if youre in it too."

Chuck looked stunned. "What the hell are you talking about? Just last night we were fine. What could have possibly changed in the last 24 hours?!"

Serena. "It's complicated."

The boy crossed his arms and glared at her, "And what may be included in this 'complication?'"

Dick! Blair sighed annoyedly. "You! If you keep pressing me about it!" She turned around and walked off.

"It would not happened to include Serena now would it?" Chuck smugly asked. He loved to admit it, he knew things. Even when people didnt think so. People's kept secrets, inner thoughts, Chuck Bass knew it all.

The brunette stopped in her tracks and turned to the haughty boy. Realizing what she had done by turning around one thought occupied her mind as she stared at Chuck's gleaming face: Oh. Fuck.

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Ooh Yay if you made it down here Im happy! Review it please!


	3. Chapter 3

Heres Chapter 3 Everyone that reads this...hahah sorry it took long but Enjoy! I own nothing as usual

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Serena saw Blair in the corner of her eyes leaving off with Chuck. She felt contempt when she thought, said, or heard his name. He was nothing great. For all she knew he was the king of all asses as a result of being a spawn of satan. She wanted to gag at the thought of him and her. However she ignored them and walked off with Dan.

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Blair remained as calm as possible when she glared at Chuck. "What are you talking about?" she acted like she didnt know what he was talking about. He walked up to her with a smirk.

"Everytime you have a problem and you have to drop everything around you is because of one person: Serena. Remember when she left? You werent yourself for nearly a month. Poor little Blair lost without her girlfriend," his voiced taunted her because it was the truth. Blair had spent so much time alone, wallowing over Serena's disappearance.

Blair rolled her eyes. Trying to contain herself from being known. "Shutup Chuck, shes not my girlfriend," she pushed him away. He grabbed her hands.

"You cant lie to me. I know, last night, her running out of your penthouse crying? What else could it possibly be?" He tried his hardest to get what he could out of Blair. After all, it would be great ammunition. He continued to pry. "What? She finally confessed her love for you?" Blair stopped moving. Her breathing stopped as she stared in shock. But then she broke out into a laugh moments after.

"Chuck you are getting to be ridiculous," Blair said with finality. She pulled herself out of his grasped and walked away. "Dont think too hard now." She let out a sigh as she turned around. _Did he know? Was he just testing me? Did I pass? Does he think anything now?_ The questions swirled in her head as she felt another thing fall on her plate: trying to keep it all a secret.

Chuck stared on, intrigued, as Blair walked away confidently. Even when Blair could have been convincing, Chuck Bass had not been convinced. He knew something was up and he was determined to find out what was going on.

* * *

The next couple days had been like the first. Blair was in and out of classes before she was caught by Serena. It was like they were playing phone tag as well. Blair would be determined to call and by the second ring, she would drop the phone on Serena. Serena would return her call but Blair wouldnt pick up.

The brunette had not figured out her words yet. Everytime she was set on saying something, she'd turn around and change her mind. She cursed at herself for being like that. A Waldorf never goes back on her word. A Waldorf never loses her girl. A Waldorf can go on and on, but Blair Waldorf herself knew she had to make everything clear.

She sat on the steps. She sent her entourage away to get her books and breakfast she already had. Being in her own head unconsciously had never been like Blair. Serena had once said that Blair lived her life like it was some kind of movie that no one else was watching except for herself. That was the truth, once. But now Blair had been acting different, she had been her true self. Only because of Serena was she able to let go of any self conscious that she held.

So the brunette sat, her eyes fixated on the hot dog stand in her line of vision. Focusing as much as she could. Then a pair of dark boots steps in her way. She looked up, ready to yell at the person who disturbed her peace.

"What the hell?" she said looking up to Serena, who was uneasily smiling down at her. "Serena!" She was surprised. Blair felt a flutter in her stomach as the blonde stared at her. The warmth that Serena held in her eyes for the girl was still there.

"Blair, is everything okay?" Serena asked as Blair stood up quickly. Blair mumbled her answer, "Mmmf, okay..." She was trying her best to leave and Serena knew the shorter girl was trying to avoid her still. She grabbed Blair's arms. Both of them felt the static shock through their body as they made contact. "Could you stop avoiding me? For one minute?" She couldnt take it anymore. She wanted her best friend back. The last couple days had been extremely excruciating for the blonde, knowing that she caused Blair to hate her and avoid her because she said three words.

"Serena what do you want me to say?" Blair said coldly. She kicked herself mentally, unable to take back the tone she had said it in. She didnt mean it, it had just come out.

Serena forced herself to take the tone as best as she could. But she was hurt. "Look Blair I know that for the last couple of days you have been trying to avoid me," she began. "But can you just stop? I wish you were back to normal. You can forget everything I ever said. About Chuck." A beat. "About how I feel.I didnt mean any of it. I really need us to be okay again. I dont want you to hate me because you are my best friend."

You are my best friend. "Fine," Blair simply said. She wanted to be out of sight at this point. Serena stared at her, knowing that she had something wrong. The brunette faked a smile and pulled herself away from the blonde. "See you later I guess." With that Blair disappeared as fast as she could so that Serena wouldnt be able to catch up.  
_  
Back to normal._

_Forget what I said._

_How I feel._

_I didnt mean any of it._

_You are my best friend._

Those words etched themselves into Blair's mind. So that was it. Serena had meant nothing when she said, I love you. It was just because they were friends. Blair held back the pain she felt. Serena loved her just as a friend. The three little words held such a weight that was so much more in Blair's mind. All she could do now was pity herself for being stupid. Stupid for believing that Serena would ever love her for anything more than just friends. Stupid for allowing herself to need Serena to tell her that. Stupid for the last couple of wasted days.

Serena stood at the steps still. She knew she had said something wrong. But what it was, she didnt know. She thought Blair wanted to hear those words, to ease her fear. She thought that Blair would never be able to accept her if she loved her more than a friend. She thought it was best to take everything back, like it never happened. If she did that then everything would go back to just like before Blair was with Chuck. But she was wrong, she knew it in the back of her mind. She regretted saying 'I love you,' but if she knew Blair would still hate her after she took it back, she regretted taking back those words.

Thanks for reading if you got this far! Dont forget to review XD


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Hate Me Love Me

Pairing: Blair/Serena

Rating: T just because of some swears Ay caramba swears...okay and implied sex

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

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That night Blair wanted to ease her pain and unwind. She knew that the only person who could help her besides Serena was Chuck.

Chuck was actually surprised when Blair stood outside of his apartment. Nonetheless, he took her in as she began kissing him passionately. He knew something was wrong and Blair was in need of an outlet. He didnt care, after all now that Blair was with him, she had finished dealing with her problems.

Blair moaned as she was about to climax. Her breathing was uneasy and her mind was everywhere as Chuck moved rhythmically with her. "Fuck...yes!" She finished and collapsed on top of Chuck. She kissed him again and said, "I love you, Serena."

Chuck scrunched his face and pushed her to look at her. "Did you just say Serena?" he asked. He felt anger boil up in him as he quickly sat up.

Blair paused for a moment and lied, "No. You are hearing things. I said I love you Chuck."

He looked at her quizzically. He thought to himself. I love you Serena. He let those words play in his mind as Blair had begun trying to explain. "What the fuck Blair?" he yelled. "We were having fantastic sex. And all you could think of was Serena?!" The truth was Chuck really did like Blair, much more than she could even imagine. Never had he found himself so in need of another woman besides Blair. But she threw it in his face.

"Chuck.." Blair tried again. She didnt know why she said Serena. "It just came out. I didnt mean it."

He stood up and put on a robe. "That is total bullshit Blair. You know it. I mean, what the fuck?! Seriously? Serena?!" He ran his hand through his hair frustratedly as Blair stood up on the other side of the bed and pulled on a robe. "I thought the whole time, you would just be in a fight with Serena just because you wanted to go out with me. But now I really see it. My poking and prodding about her confessing her love for you was true?!"

"Chuck, look.."

"No! Blair, you lied to me! What could that blonde bitch have that I dont?!"

Blair wanted to remain calm but calling Serena a bitch was something else. "Chuck take that back right now."

"I wont. Serena van der Woodsen is nothing special, look what she did to you when you had Nate. She takes everything away from you! So what could you ever want from her that I cant give you?!"

"Fine!" she had enough of Chuck. "I love Serena! Not you Chuck. I thought I could one day, but I know that can never happen! You dont love me like she does. She doesnt sleep around or drink anymore. She cares about me and comes running when I ask for her help. She has nothing I want because shes all I need. She makes me happy even when she doesnt try to. She is twice the man that you can NEVER BE! I LOVE HER AND ONLY HER." Without saying another word she grabbed her stuff and walked out of Chucks apartment.

Chuck had been beyond pissed. If Blair Waldorf didnt love him back, he was determined to make her life a hell. He grabbed his cellphone, this was going to be one scandal that she couldnt escape for sure.

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Damn that Mother Chucker, sometimes I just have to write that in what a jerk. Review please for constructive criticism!


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Hate Me Love Me

Pairing: Blair/Serena

Rating: T just because of some swears Ay caramba swears...

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Hey guys! Its the last chapter wow, i didnt think itd be short but hey! It worked out which I am glad for. Blair has had enough. I hope you enjoy this final chapter! Dont forget to review to give me your feedback

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_Good morning Upper Eastsiders. Could it be? Blair Waldorf has taken an interest...in women? Watch out boys and girls, you're queen isnt looking for a king anymore. She is looking for another queen. XOXO Gossip Girl._

"What did you hear this?" "Is it true?" "I knew there was a reason why she broke up with Nate." "I thought she was with Chuck." "Is that why she always looks at us funny?" "She has always been touchy feely."

Everyone whispered as she walked through the school. She felt dazed and unsure of what to do. This was one thing she hadnt anticipated to happen. But she knew it was her fault. This was Chuck's way of lashing out. She wished she hadnt told him all those things but it needed to be done. He knew that if any of that had gotten out her relationship would go down the drain.

"Katy, Iz, dont even think about believing this," Blair ordered seeing them look at their phones.

"Wouldnt dream of it," the two girls said in chorus. But then Katy pushed Iz a little. "But, this weekend...studying at your place, I dont think we can make it."

"Why not?" The two girls paused. Blair glared at both of them and in the corner of her eyes saw Chuck smiling confidently. She scoffed at them, she didnt care anymore and pushed her way over to him.

"Everyone make way for Queen of Dykes!" The guys hooted again all bowed down to her and moved away. Blair rolled her eyes as she moved forward until a jock stopped her.

The boy looked down at her threateningly. "Hey Blair. I hope you didnt go 'queer eye' on my girlfriend." Blair had enough, she saw Chuck laughing harder than ever. She kicked the jock in the nuts as hard as she could and watched him keel over.

"Fuck. Off." she ordered as she pushed through the crowd again. She grabbed Chuck by his jacket and pulled him to a silent corner.

"You rat bastard," she cursed as she threw him against the wall.

Chuck pulled himself together quickly. "You shouldnt be saying that if you dont want anymore to get out."

"You know what this would do to me. You only did this to get back at what happened last night."

"You dont get it. You ruined everything for me. I really liked to you Blair. You held this fascination before I found out that you were just using me as some kind of place holder to get over some girl," Chuck hissed. "Let me tell you something Blair: payback is always a bitch."

"Go to hell," Blair said with finality as she turned her heels and walked off.

"I've already gone through it Blair! Now its your turn," Chuck yelled back to her.

"Blair are you okay?" Serena asked as Blair was trying to leave. Ever since she got that message from Gossip Girl, Serena had been worried about her best friend.

"I'll be fine." She simply said to Serena.

"I'm sure this will blow over," Serena carefully added trying to bring comfort. "Gossip girl has definitely been hearing the wrong things. I mean seriously. That cant be true. Its you Blair." After how you reacted with me is an example.

"What do you mean its me?" Blair asked sternly.

"Your reaction with me?" Serena tried carefully.

The brunette finally had enough. She grabbed Serena and led her all the way up to the top of the staircase. After all this time she had to make things clear. Serena had mistook everything that she had done.

"You have been mistaking everything thats gone on in the last week," Blair said. "You didnt let me explain. You didnt know why I was avoiding you. You didnt say anything right. So I am going to fix this."

Serena could only ask, "What?!" to Blair's quickly said sentences. She finally stopped walking when they reached the top.

"Everyone!" Blair called their attention to. They turned their heads in confusion. "I dont care about what you say anymore. Or what you do. The truth is what Gossip Girl said is true." Her voice still made her Blair Waldorf, strong, confident, and straightforward with the world. "Except she was left without one piece of information. The only girl I could ever want--need, is Serena van der Woodsen." She turned to Serena.

Serena stared at the shorter girl and took her hands. "You dont have to do this," she said. She knew Blair, this would either ruin her or make the rest of her life miserable. "You can turn this around."

The brunette shook her head. "I dont care anymore. I want to do this Serena. Its the truth, so just let me talk. When you left me to go to boarding school I was a wreck, I could barely get up and do anything. I hated you so much for leaving me alone. When you came back I was so afraid that you would leave me all over again. I was scared. I was always going to tell you one day, there was just never a right time. Then the thing with Nate happened, and then Chuck.

"But that night you told me, I wanted to say it so badly but you left before I could think straight. And I was avoiding you for so long just so I can perfect this moment. To tell you the only thing thats been on my mind all the time. Serena, from as far back as I can remember I have always loved you and I always will."

She finished with a smile and held Serena's cheek. Serena had only wanted to hear those words. That night that was what she wanted to hear. Her eyes began to well up in tears and she held them back. She choked out a laugh. Blair smiled at her, knowing why she laughed. Both of them knowing that everything had been simply misinterpreted by their minds.

Serena held Blair's hand against her own face. The warmth was filled with comfort telling them both that everything was going to be okay. "I love you too Blair," Serena said softly back to her. "More than anything in this world."

Blair paused and turned back to their audience. "You can say whatever you want about me, you know I will ruin you. If you add Serena to it, I will make your life a living hell," she warned causing Serena to laugh. She laughed with the blonde and wiped away a tear that came out of her eye.  
_  
Oh, Chuck Bass, too bad for you. Who else wouldve sent me this juicy tip besides you? Let me tell you, it backfired. And that is just too damn bad._

_No one expects Queen B to admit anything was true when it was said by me, but she knew enough was enough. As the rest of the school cheered and looked confused, B knew that this was right. It was good and it was true. So what if this possibly ruined her. She didnt have to lie or fight anyone alone anymore, she had what her heart always wanted: S. And like a fairy tale, S would be her knight in shining armor ready to protect her from anything._

_You know you love me, Gossip Girl._

_PS, I cant say I wouldnt want Blair Waldorf either._

Fin

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You know you like that purple button XD


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